He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize