i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
