he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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