I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
