in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
