so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
