just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
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'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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