You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
