New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
