She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
