apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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