My sheets look like a crime scene.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
