Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
