Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
