I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
