was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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