I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
