I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
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I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
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What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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