yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
