i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
