IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
