I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
