You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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