So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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