dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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