worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
