a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
