everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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