it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
