Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize