Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm too high and old for this...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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