Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
