I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
