Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
