Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
