Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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