This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
