Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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