No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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