The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
