Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Panties = found
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