I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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