I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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