ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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