I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
