Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
not ubering you a puppy
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
