So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
