we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
