I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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