So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Still dying that you shit outside
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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