Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
