He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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