butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
