I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
