Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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