You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
