we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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