I want to make a zoo with you.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
