those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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