How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
