I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
