apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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