He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
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And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
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they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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